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Capricorn Season

Capricorn Season


December 21st - January 20th

Ruler - Saturn

Rational, Granular, Controlling, Stubborn, Materialistic, Conservative, Literal, Disciplined

It is fitting that Capricorn greases seasonal wheels that take us from wanton consumption in December to restrictive conservatism in January. The Sea Goat is ruled by Saturn after all, that blinged out gas giant that forces us to address what needs to be done before we get what we want done. Thus it is best to deal with Saturn the way one would an enthusiastic dungeon master* - bite the bit and whisper, "Yes, daddy," everytime things feel difficult, because this is the sort of discipline metered out for our own good. Capricorns know this, the obsessive scamps, which is why they throw themselves so fully into tasks the rest of us view as torturous, like accounting, inventory, dressing and undressing in full liquid latex suits, and anything involving spreadsheets. The earth and its inhabitants need Capricorn energy now more than ever, as discipline and determination are the only things that will pull us through an unhinged timeline of late stage capitalism. So embrace the directive espoused by the band Ghost on this season's playlist and baby...kiss the goat.

*Every professional dominatrix I've ever known was a Capricorn. Every single one.


Earth signs can be easy to marginalize via commonality - we don't often find ourselves mesmerized by the dirt under our feet or the asphalt roads we travel everyday. Common elements can be wondrous though, once we view them with fresh and probing eyes. We'd be totally fucked if we couldn't drive to work or walk through a forest, and we certainly need the things our Earth provides more that it needs us.  

Iolite is a saturnine crystal that defies expectations - more common than sapphire but similarly colored until held aloft, iolite is often taken for granted as a 'lesser' stone. Unlike amethyst or sapphire, iolite is pleochroic, which means it can reflect a spectrum of different color in direct light. So exist people born under Capricorn, often coming across as pedestrian or conventional only to those looking but not seeing, taking Cap at face value instead of probing the dark, interestingly obsessive miasma that winds through their core. 



" I want a girl with the right allocations Who is fast, and thorough, and sharp as a tack She's playing with her jewelry She's putting up her hair She's touring the facility And picking up slack"

Cardinal signs are so, so useful for the sort of moments 2022 has gifted us in spades. When long running systems fail and a despairing stasis threatens the possibility for progress or hope, an Aries or a Cancer has no problem surveying the issue and saying, "Fuck this, let's try something else. Something new." Sea Goats are equally initiatory, but they work best within an established rubrik in order to usher beginnings. Capricorn and Saturn get dirty with details, then reconnoiter those details to make lives better, faster, fitter, happier, and more productive.These are the people who take notes and record  critiques in an obsessive, timely fashion, and so will benefit from thick journals with gilded covers. (Capricorns love money and gold. They love it - they're like sexy, practical leprechauns.) For witchy Sea Goats, consider this rigidly structured tarot journal for the recording and analysis of readings. With daily questions like, "How was I of service to others today?" , this fucking thing was made for Earth signs and their love of self-flagellation. 


If you know any Sea Goats in passing, or as shallow acquaintances, The Devil can seem an oddly disjointed choice to parallell winter's beginning on the decan wheel. We're talking about nurses and accountants for God's sake! Hooved similarity aside, what do these orderly, tenacious beings have to do with the naughty, slave-keeping, multi-breasted Baphomet? Quite a bit, actually, as anyone who has spent time in the bedroom with a Capricorn can affirm. The ability to work through pain and never, ever cease efforts to achieve is the source of both good and evil in Capricorns. The RWS Devil speaks to obsession more than anything else - to an unending need to see things through, regardless of enjoyment level or ease. This bloody tenacity seeps from Capricorn's pores and is present in every aspect of life, be it money, sex, family, or work, making them a liiittle intense about things when roused. For a chiller divination experience that still resonates with Capricorn, The Devil's Deck includes gentler card rubrik dealing with temperance, self-love, and the conquering of vices. Not that Capricorn has any issues with those things.*

*stares pointedly in astrologer



"Simplicity and sexiness, that’s all people want. At a price that’s not outrageous."

Diane Von Furstenberg 


Diane von Furstenberg, embodying the most Capricorn of combo vibes in brutal eficiency and practical sensuality, gets straight to the point. The Sea Goat designer who gifted humanity with the most fashionable workhorse garment of the late twentieth century raises a valid point. (Capricorns often raise valid points. It's annoying.) Sexy and simple is all people want, so how about we just give it to them? A black turtleneck that skims the body perfectly, classic day to evening trousers, and traditional peacoats may not sound exciting, but they are appealingly like Capricorns themselves - simple, sexy, and frugal.

The aforementioned love of money and occasional material obsession means well crafted jewelry with timeless vibes like this gold plated choker make Capricorn warm and fuzzy inside. If practicality holds the most appeal, functional pieces that layer nicely like paperclip chains and this stately brass collar make for quality gifting that doesn't break the bank.



"Better have conviction/Cause we want crimes of passion Survival of the fittest/You're either with us or you can keep it to yourself."


The Goat gets shit done and has no time for whining from any quarter. Oh, is something difficult? Too bad. Does it hurt? Deal with it, because from where Capricorn is standing pain and suffering are inevitable aspects of a productive life.  This season's playlist is crammed with goats like Mary J. Blige, Beth Gibbons of Portishead, FKA Twigs, Paul Westerberg, David Bowie, Karen Elson, Cyndi Lauper, Marianne Faithful, and Hayley Williams of Paramore.  This is music for sticking to a plan and giving no quarter, for making task lists full of brutal truths, and for wielding a leather riding crop while making aaaalllll the money. Lana Del Rey may not be a Saturn baby, but when she sings about the joys of dope and diamonds she is definitely talking to you, Capricorn.